More Sex Stories...

My blog is getting steamy... I nearly forgot to relate another sex story. This one took place on Friday. I was in the city with my dear husband and he wanted to go to this French market I told him I'd gone to with my friend Esra. It was only about 8 booths, but the sellers were of course from France and so very lovely (one told me I looked like this gorgeous French TV Host so I loved her especially)... And they only spoke French - some German - some English. So! The sex part. I was at a tent where cookies were being sold. Some French kind, I cannot recall the name. They looked and smelled like little slices of heaven. My husband turned to me and smiled. That meant he wanted some. Cookies, that is. So I asked the lady if we could have 6 cookies, in English. She said something about her German being better than her English so I said to her in German, "My husband would like 6 (in German this word is sechs)" and I pointed to the bin of cookies directly in front of her. But, you see, sechs is another one of those words. With a word starting with se and ending in chs, which sounds like an x sound, you know you're kinda screwed for lack of better words. Unlike the Germans, who would remain professional and reserved as you stood there making a moron out of yourself butchering a language -- this French lady laughed so hard she lost her balance and said, You want sex huh? and looked at my husband and we started to laugh and I said, "Well we're with the French, anything is possible, right?" and she continued to laugh and I then said, "No, SIX, six cookies". And she continued to laugh a hearty smoker's laugh and then proceeded to tell me how lovely I was. The French. Gotta love 'em. So I asked for sex today and I asked a lady to give my husband sex a few days prior. What a language whore I am! :0)

Comments

I understand you very well, Holly! I speak Swedish fluently (after having spent about two years between Berlin and the South of Sweden) but there are still some words which I can´t pronounce properly or which I always misinterpretate.

It is problematic as soon as languages are very close (as English&German or German&Swedish) and I am the Queen of Crimson when I mix up Swedish words such as kyssa & kissa (kiss and pee ;-)
erin said…
little language flubs make for the best stories. thanks for sharing these.
Melissa A said…
oh my gosh, you made me laugh so hard I have tears coming from my eyes. At least you have some humor about learning your new language.
my hyggelig said…
These stories are so making me laugh whenever your share them. I also studied German in undergraduate and graduate schools - so can really get a giggle going. My husband also studied German, so I am reading these posts out loud to him and he too is enjoying them.☺

Don't stop...
likeschocolate said…
That is the French for you-sex always on the brain. They can turn any topic even comercial for butter into sex/
Courtney said…
LOL...I could only see the titles of your last couple of posts in my reader and thought that perhaps you had a different kind of blog now! But I love it that you can laugh at yourself and then share it with us too :-) Thanks!!
Desiree said…
Haha, I love it!
They've all got to give you credit for trying SO HARD to communicate! I think you're doing a bang up job :D
Red Lipstick said…
So funny! I know I would do the very same thing! Oh my gosh, I'm really laughing!
vanessa joie said…
"My husband turned to me and smiled. That meant he wanted some. Cookies, that is."

I really did laugh out loud. Too funny. I had an experience (in spanish) where when preparing to return home from 2 years of full time missionary service I told some of the people I was working with the first thing I'd do when I got home was to run around to everyone saying "embarazame" (impregnate me) when what I meant was "abrazame" (hug me).

Whoopsies.
I love it you language whore!! So many times I stop myself because I slaughter the German language.
Allison said…
It is really difficult when there are such fine differences in the sounds of a langauge. The same thing had happened to me when I wanted to ask for a "brush" and ended up asking for a "breast" instead... lucky for me, most Germans just think it is super charming.
Juliette said…
I have always hated saying 6 auf deutsch - this is the sort of thing that happens! =)
Ele said…
Holly, I love this story! I especially love how you can laugh about it all and have such a great attitude- I probably would have died of embarrassment!

Perhaps you should limit yourself to asking for fünf or sieben of something, until you get your bearings? ;)
doris said…
As a German native speaker I love it when English natives wish me a "Gute Nackt" instead of "Nacht". Oh by the way, it's getting late again, good naked! :-)
Ms. Librarian said…
My husband is Austrian as we were just getting prepped for the greencard interview the topic of the "consummation" came up...he mixed it up with constipation...I couldn't help but giggle. :)
Anonymous said…
I laughed out loud when I read this post. The same thing happens to me here in italy all the time. Those darn double consonants. The difference for me is subtle but it's the difference between a popular pasta an male anatomy or between a year and the rear.

Adventures in languages!
~Cary said…
Notice she was french...It is so hard to have a sense of humor in another language it's like the last thing to translate. My humor in english just doesn't translate to German. My best friend (who is German) tells me all the time that I am not funny in German.I should be believe her and just stop trying.;)
ANNA said…
this is so sweety-funny :D
Anke Weckmann said…
I've done that a few times before because I used to work in shops & had to announce amounts at the till all the time.
Because German is my first language every now and then I would say "sechs" instead of "six" and feel so embarassed.
Krista said…
LOL such funny stories! I havent tested much of my german words out because we live near an american military base so alot of the German's here will bypass your attempt at german and just speak english to you. Just remember that a single 's'is pronounced like a 'z' in english.
Helena said…
LOOOOOLLLL!
You made my day!
Traveling Mama said…
My husband thinks it is completely hysterical to learn all the "bad" words he can in Arabic. His favorite was "I farted." He walked into language class the day after learning the phrase from a friend and proudly announced "I farted." Our language teacher nearly croaked! All I know is that he certainly keeps things interesting!
Yasmine said…
Don't you just love languages?! I sure do, and as I speak several of them I can rely on your story, LOL. But the cutest ever was my work colleague from Colombia: we speak French at work here in Quebec, and she can't pronounce differently the word 'cou' (neck) from 'cul' (behind). You should have seen boss's face as she sad to him she has 'cul' pain instead of 'cou' pain - and the laughter after that,payless...
Absolutely hysterical post! Love it!! Thanks for giving me a little laughter! : )
Pam said…
So funny! You should really gather all this up into a book! I could even see a film based on it!
julietk said…
I enjoyed my visit to your beautiful blog it made me laugh and I will have to come back and read more of your adventures :-)
Katharina@music-together-hannover.de said…
hi just saw on your twitter page you were wondering about the german word STOFFELCHEN.
STOFFEL means boor: A person with rude, clumsy manners and little refinement
the ending CHEN is the minimization/belittlement. so the "insult" wasn't that strong ;-)
keep having fun with our crazy language!
katharina
Jane K. said…
Missing you here! Love checking in on the life of Holly! Jane x
Allison said…
lol! this is funny!i love your blog. it has so much character and i love reading about your adventures in Germany. it’s been one of my daily reads.enjoying the granola reads. : ) i left you something on my blog!
small caps said…
so funny! try to pronounce the "s" at the beginning of "sechs" more softer like the sound of a humming bee... maybe that helps. the "s" of sex is more harder, like the sound of a snake, he he ;)
I'm an American who lived in Italy for awhile. I hosted a brunch once and told all of the guests they were having mimosas with "juice of a blow job" because the word for grapefruit (pompelmo) is very much like a slang term for a bj (pompino.) It was embarrassing, but has turned into a fantastic story!

Have you read "Me Talk Pretty One Day? by David Sedaris. It is my favorite ever book and deals a lot with learning a new language.

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