New Beginnings
It's July 1st and after only 10 days on the market our house has rented here in New Hampshire! Yay! Well it's not exactly mine but we wanted it to rent before leaving because we like our landlord and wished for things to work out for all parties. You see, he was kind enough to allow us to break our lease, technically we are signed to rent here until Jan 15, 2010 and legally we would have had to pay him for the time despite no longer living here but recently he decided that since he likes us and such that he'd not hold us to the lease and that he'd let us out as long as he could keep our security deposit.
It's actually to his benefit now, he is renting to a single lady and charging $200 extra per month for the rent and her heat/hot water will be considerably less that our usage (he pays for that) so I think it's good for HIM that we are leaving. In the end, I'm just happy everything worked out. We've lived here for 6.5 years and I'm ready to venture on -- I wasn't raised here, nor was my husband, so it never felt like home to us despite all the friends we've made and how many parties we've thrown and how many weekend trips we've taken in order to hit every single part of the state.
It just never felt like a right fit.
Do you know the expression, "You can't fit a square peg into a round hole"? No matter how hard you try to pound that square peg into a round hole it doesn't seem to work. Even if you do manage to hammer it in hard enough there are still gaps and it's not a comfortable fit. That's been my experience in New Hampshire. I think this state is made for people who want to be left alone, out of the loop so to speak, and who prefer a quiet way of life with their children and such. And that is great and perfect for them so I'm not knocking this at all. At all. And I want you to know this because I'm sure someone reading from NH is going to have some choice words for me in the comments section after reading this paragraph. I mean absolutely nothing bad by saying this. It's simply my personal experience.
I'm really ready for this relocation and life change and Thorsten is REALLY ready to go back to Germany where he grew up and lived for 28 years. He loves Europe in general and we both enjoy traveling so we can finally really travel now. He'll turn 37 in October and he wants to start a family and raise our someday kids in Europe so they can learn German and English fluently from birth, and of course have the excellent health care and benefits that parents have in Germany which we just don't have here as contractors.
But aside from family planning, we both want to "fit" in somewhere again. I did well in Boston and of course, in my native South Carolina and while he likes both (as do I), we're both ready to just give Germany a whirl and so why not go for it now while our health is still good and our energy levels are high (and before the kids come). Plus, I feel like the first 8 years of our marriage he has sacrificed by moving here to be with me, now it's time that I give living on his side of the world a try. Fair is fair. And I'm certainly not complaining - I can't wait.
So, today our little home is officially signed over to someone else, another bird who will fluff this nest and hopefully enjoy her stay here as we have because despite it all, we really made a lot of progress living here "in the sticks" despite the lack of design/art and women to network with who are into the same things that I'm into. There are some but none of them live even remotely close to me (it's a large state!). Still -- I wouldn't trade back these 6.5 years for anything. I have no regrets. We grew into a strong married couple. Our finances are under control and all debts are paid (we owe $0 - and I mean $0), and we both started very successful businesses here due to less distraction and more time to live our jobs. But now it's time to live our life and our jobs, together, and I'm excited to give this next phase a whirl.
We got married in our twenties and in 13 days on July 14 we will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary. I can't believe it! Most of these 8 years were spent here in this 1875 carriage house in nowheresville. But we had some amazing things happen to us and our life and I'm so grateful for this.
Have you ever heard of those who run off and hibernate in some tiny town and write that best selling novel? Well there is much that can come from seclusion as my husband and I have learned. decor8 was born out of seclusion for the most part. I landed many a writing gig from living out here. My husband learned English fluently. And our expenses dropped after moving away from Boston so we were able to get our money under control since we downsized to a small apartment, less rent, tax-free state with no federal tax, cheap car insurance, have only one car, etc. Living out here has been hard in some ways but the sacrifice was totally worth it. And now the time has come that we've been building all of this up for, to relocate and enjoy the fruits of our labor. It's time to say goodbye.
I CAN'T WAIT. {dancing in my seat}
woot! woot!
So July 1st I welcome you my friend. The month of my anniversary, the last month of my life in America, the month I will sell off the rest of my belongings, and the month that I will no longer live a life in a cage with clipped wings. I'm flying out - over - beyond and taking all I've learned and saved and found with me on all levels and I can't wait to enjoy what these past several years of sacrifice will mean for the rest of our life ahead.
Have you ever experienced similar feelings? Can you relate to me at this point in my life?
(image: holly becker)
Comments
I have been reading decor8 and haus maus for while now and I love your style and the things you write about.
I know exactly how you feel about NH. My husband and I lived there for 3 years(Concord) and we never fit in. Boston was my salvation:) and it's one of my favorite cities in the States.
I'm a little jealous(in a good way) that you are moving to Europe. I grew up in Eastern Europe but I love Western Europe. We try to go and visit there every few years. We have been to Germany few times and we loved it!
I totally understand why you are so excited to move there and to move on to the next chapter in your life. Good Luck!
Lucky you two. Take the time to enjoy the ride.
Good luck for your move.
Mind you, I do miss Europe, England probably more so than Germany (where I grew up), and my dream is to be able to divide my time between here and there one day. I will certainly continue to follow your adventures and transition to full-time European living. GOOD LUCK! K.
I cannot begin to tell you how much grief our families put us through when we decided to move back overseas. They wanted us to be happy, but were angry that we were taking their grandchildren away- permanently. We loved our house and aspects of our suburban life, but it was never a fit. My husband was climbing the ladder at Starbucks but he hated going to work. We were in debt up to our eyeballs... well, really it was over our heads and we were breathing through a straw.
And then we just decided we had had our fill of the "American dream." At one point we were working five jobs (four part time) to pay off our debt. It is amazing what one will do when a dream is right there and ready to be taken hold of!
We are already getting some push back from folks here about moving to Europe, but thankfully our family is thrilled. Cheaper flights... better healthcare... to them safer (though we feel perfectly safe here!)
I'm so excited for you! You inspire me to just go for my dreams and sometimes all it takes is just a little inspiration!
I think it's interesting how even a whole state can give an impression like you describe. I haven't lived in NH, but after 10yrs in MA I can say that's honestly exactly the impression I always got from both NH natives who loved it there and from any time I've spent staying there for chunks of time. NH is more isolationist and VT always strikes me as more collaborative. MA is academic, reserved, yet neighborly on the small scale. There are similar differences to regions in Germany I'm noticing, and I know you will have a blast checking it all out once you really live here!
I love Germany and looking through your pics of clean, freshly painted, old buildings makes me itch for Europe again.
Something I miss from the States is Root Beer!
Have fun these last days before you go.
i am about to move to Savannah with my long term boyfriend so we can both get our MFAs from SCAD. i have sort of the opposite situation in that agreeing to this change in my life is going to mean roughly 150k in debt for the two of us. its scary. terrifying actually.
through all the anxiety attacks and painful nightmares of never being able to pay that much money back while still affording to cover everyday expenses, i know this is absolutely the best thing i could be doing right now.
i'm excited to move very very very far away, to what seems like a different country than the NY Metro area. life is so FAST here! slowly things down and shaking things up a bit will be good, not only for me - but for my art too.
when things get overwhelming, your posts on your move calm me down. thank you so much for sharing this experience with us!
"It just never felt like a right fit." I've had that feeling my whole life & am still trying to find that "right place" ... I hope Germany is the place for you!
There's no time like the present, especially when you don't have kids trying you down, to live in a different country. I see a fantastic adventure ahead for both of you. :)
To put it simply, I can 100% relate to you. Living and writing in San Francisco for 3 years is much different than working in CT - and I'd take CT any day ... the calm allows my mind to wander and come up with more ideas, even without the big networking opportunities like in big cities.
P.S. I love love love the first picture you posted ... swoon :D (already made it a favorite on Flickr)
Good luck!
We're going to plan better this time. Already starting to look around.....
It is very exciting for me to absorb all the information you post, as my husband and I are planning to do the same thing. While we both grew up (and currently live) in Western Canada, a lot of my family is in Germany. Last year my Husband and I decided to relocate to Berlin in January 2011. We are beyond excited, and reading your blog is a constant inspiration for us.
Thanks again!
I started reading Haus Maus and Decor8 just before you went to Germany last year and look forward to you new adventures in Germany full time.
So I'm at a bit of a cross roads myself these days. In some ways i can't relate. I live in San Francisco where I've lived for nearly 20 years now. And i LOVE it here. The weather, the architecture, the people, the vibe. Love love love our beautiful city. In that sense, yes, i've found a great "home". At the same time having Wolfie enter our lives changed things for me dramatically. The public schools in California (esp the Bay Area) are sadly very mediocre. There are some amazing schools but they are either in areas where the starting price for a home is $750K OR they are way out in the cookie cutter suburbs (which them makes me think, if I move all the way out there....what's the point of staying in the Bay Area??). I'm also very far from my parents and in-laws (who are in Michigan and South Carolina respectively) and I wish we were closer so Wolfie could visit them more regularly.
So I'm at a point where I think, do I pack it up and move my family some place more affordable and/or closer to the grand parents? Or do we stick it out here? Portland and New York are the two places where work opportunities have come up (NYC sounds amazing and terrifying!! Like outta the frying pan into the fryer...we'd have to consider living just outside the city like maybe NJ or Conn. But it would be a great job and so much closer to parents...and NY sounds pretty damn fun). Anyway, I'm so impressed with (and admiring of) your decision to pack it all up and try something new!!! I am truly living vicariously through you!
I've just moved country (like you, it was my 'turn'!) and despite STILL being rubbish at the language, and having the odd bad moment, I love it here and feel at home.
I hope that you have great fun and am looking forward so much to reading about your adventures.
My daughter and I have been living with my mother for a year, while my husband works out of state. On July 20 we are moving into a new (rented) house as a family. Our first real house. I am so very excited!
I can definitely identify with your emotions! This last year has been such a huge sacrifice for us, but so very worth it!
Good luck on your journey!
Hugs,
Ann
I can so relate to your feelings, because I have been living in a small german provincial town for more than two years now - after living in Berlin - and am probably going to stay for some while, because my life partner has a very good job here. It's a very conservative town and I often feel that I don't really fit in. But anyhow, one never knows...I might get a job elsewhere and would have to commute and I've seen it happening to other people that they thought they would stay in a certain place, just to find themselves elsewhere a few months later...
I grew up in Hannover-List, so I think it's one of the best places to live in! I wish you all the best for your future. May all you dream of come true!
Hana
P.S.: Oh, and I love reading your blog!
I didnt have much to leave behind. What I had were all the hopes and expectations and that was such a wonderful feeling. There was also someone waiting for me in the city that has since become my second home.
Good luck, Holly!