New Beginnings

It's July 1st and after only 10 days on the market our house has rented here in New Hampshire! Yay! Well it's not exactly mine but we wanted it to rent before leaving because we like our landlord and wished for things to work out for all parties. You see, he was kind enough to allow us to break our lease, technically we are signed to rent here until Jan 15, 2010 and legally we would have had to pay him for the time despite no longer living here but recently he decided that since he likes us and such that he'd not hold us to the lease and that he'd let us out as long as he could keep our security deposit.

Into the Sun

It's actually to his benefit now, he is renting to a single lady and charging $200 extra per month for the rent and her heat/hot water will be considerably less that our usage (he pays for that) so I think it's good for HIM that we are leaving. In the end, I'm just happy everything worked out. We've lived here for 6.5 years and I'm ready to venture on -- I wasn't raised here, nor was my husband, so it never felt like home to us despite all the friends we've made and how many parties we've thrown and how many weekend trips we've taken in order to hit every single part of the state. It just never felt like a right fit. Do you know the expression, "You can't fit a square peg into a round hole"? No matter how hard you try to pound that square peg into a round hole it doesn't seem to work. Even if you do manage to hammer it in hard enough there are still gaps and it's not a comfortable fit. That's been my experience in New Hampshire. I think this state is made for people who want to be left alone, out of the loop so to speak, and who prefer a quiet way of life with their children and such. And that is great and perfect for them so I'm not knocking this at all. At all. And I want you to know this because I'm sure someone reading from NH is going to have some choice words for me in the comments section after reading this paragraph. I mean absolutely nothing bad by saying this. It's simply my personal experience. I'm really ready for this relocation and life change and Thorsten is REALLY ready to go back to Germany where he grew up and lived for 28 years. He loves Europe in general and we both enjoy traveling so we can finally really travel now. He'll turn 37 in October and he wants to start a family and raise our someday kids in Europe so they can learn German and English fluently from birth, and of course have the excellent health care and benefits that parents have in Germany which we just don't have here as contractors. But aside from family planning, we both want to "fit" in somewhere again. I did well in Boston and of course, in my native South Carolina and while he likes both (as do I), we're both ready to just give Germany a whirl and so why not go for it now while our health is still good and our energy levels are high (and before the kids come). Plus, I feel like the first 8 years of our marriage he has sacrificed by moving here to be with me, now it's time that I give living on his side of the world a try. Fair is fair. And I'm certainly not complaining - I can't wait. So, today our little home is officially signed over to someone else, another bird who will fluff this nest and hopefully enjoy her stay here as we have because despite it all, we really made a lot of progress living here "in the sticks" despite the lack of design/art and women to network with who are into the same things that I'm into. There are some but none of them live even remotely close to me (it's a large state!). Still -- I wouldn't trade back these 6.5 years for anything. I have no regrets. We grew into a strong married couple. Our finances are under control and all debts are paid (we owe $0 - and I mean $0), and we both started very successful businesses here due to less distraction and more time to live our jobs. But now it's time to live our life and our jobs, together, and I'm excited to give this next phase a whirl. We got married in our twenties and in 13 days on July 14 we will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary. I can't believe it! Most of these 8 years were spent here in this 1875 carriage house in nowheresville. But we had some amazing things happen to us and our life and I'm so grateful for this. Have you ever heard of those who run off and hibernate in some tiny town and write that best selling novel? Well there is much that can come from seclusion as my husband and I have learned. decor8 was born out of seclusion for the most part. I landed many a writing gig from living out here. My husband learned English fluently. And our expenses dropped after moving away from Boston so we were able to get our money under control since we downsized to a small apartment, less rent, tax-free state with no federal tax, cheap car insurance, have only one car, etc. Living out here has been hard in some ways but the sacrifice was totally worth it. And now the time has come that we've been building all of this up for, to relocate and enjoy the fruits of our labor. It's time to say goodbye. I CAN'T WAIT. {dancing in my seat} woot! woot! So July 1st I welcome you my friend. The month of my anniversary, the last month of my life in America, the month I will sell off the rest of my belongings, and the month that I will no longer live a life in a cage with clipped wings. I'm flying out - over - beyond and taking all I've learned and saved and found with me on all levels and I can't wait to enjoy what these past several years of sacrifice will mean for the rest of our life ahead. Have you ever experienced similar feelings? Can you relate to me at this point in my life? (image: holly becker)

Comments

Eva said…
Hello there-

I have been reading decor8 and haus maus for while now and I love your style and the things you write about.

I know exactly how you feel about NH. My husband and I lived there for 3 years(Concord) and we never fit in. Boston was my salvation:) and it's one of my favorite cities in the States.

I'm a little jealous(in a good way) that you are moving to Europe. I grew up in Eastern Europe but I love Western Europe. We try to go and visit there every few years. We have been to Germany few times and we loved it!

I totally understand why you are so excited to move there and to move on to the next chapter in your life. Good Luck!
cdelphine said…
That's very cool to be at a place where you can see your hard work pay off. I would love to hear from you sometime about how you stayed motivated during the years of sacrifice.
Jennifer said…
I can totally relate! I've been in LA for 7 years now and it's never been the right fit...although it's been fantastic for work and this where I met my husband, it's time for us to leave! I'm in my mid 30s and starting to transition to a new career path (florist...yeah!), kids are on the mind (clock seems to be growing louder!) and would love to find the right place to settle in and just enjoy life. It's definitely been a dream of mind forever to live abroad specifically in Scotland or Ireland - so you are my inspiration! Best of luck with your move...I'll be checking in from LA to get my daily dose of your adventures!
TERI REES WANG said…
The number "8" is very lucky, or "auspicious" in Chinese culture, since it is the character that most resembles the infinity symbol.
Lucky you two. Take the time to enjoy the ride.
Perfect Witch said…
I know exactly what you mean. I am from India, and went to the US in 2000, but it never felt right. I worked, I went for a PhD, but in 2007, made the decision to relocate. And did. And am happy now. I think you need to belong, and that's very innate in us, isn't it?
Good luck for your move.
Kerstin said…
You are such an inspiration! And yes, I can totally empathize with your feelings about NH as that is EXACTLY how I felt about Massachusetts - a square peg in a round hole. And even though my husband decided to stay on for another couple of years and it is not easy to live so far apart, I know that moving to the Pacific Northwest was the right thing to do for me because this FITS.

Mind you, I do miss Europe, England probably more so than Germany (where I grew up), and my dream is to be able to divide my time between here and there one day. I will certainly continue to follow your adventures and transition to full-time European living. GOOD LUCK! K.
Traveling Mama said…
Oh my! Do I ever know how you feel! A very dear friend lived here in Morocco when we first arrived and we used to joke that God must have a sense of humor because we should have been born Europeans. She is living in Paris now and has never been happier in her life.

I cannot begin to tell you how much grief our families put us through when we decided to move back overseas. They wanted us to be happy, but were angry that we were taking their grandchildren away- permanently. We loved our house and aspects of our suburban life, but it was never a fit. My husband was climbing the ladder at Starbucks but he hated going to work. We were in debt up to our eyeballs... well, really it was over our heads and we were breathing through a straw.

And then we just decided we had had our fill of the "American dream." At one point we were working five jobs (four part time) to pay off our debt. It is amazing what one will do when a dream is right there and ready to be taken hold of!

We are already getting some push back from folks here about moving to Europe, but thankfully our family is thrilled. Cheaper flights... better healthcare... to them safer (though we feel perfectly safe here!)

I'm so excited for you! You inspire me to just go for my dreams and sometimes all it takes is just a little inspiration!
Juliette said…
I do know that feeling. We actually feel a little of that now, but we also feel we're supposed to stick it out and try a few new tactics first. So that's what we're doing.

I think it's interesting how even a whole state can give an impression like you describe. I haven't lived in NH, but after 10yrs in MA I can say that's honestly exactly the impression I always got from both NH natives who loved it there and from any time I've spent staying there for chunks of time. NH is more isolationist and VT always strikes me as more collaborative. MA is academic, reserved, yet neighborly on the small scale. There are similar differences to regions in Germany I'm noticing, and I know you will have a blast checking it all out once you really live here!
maiapapaya said…
I am also married to a German. He couldn't find a decent job in the SF bay area (which is where I just landed my dream job), but he found one in Germany. I'm an academic so I'm in Germany for the summer and I'll come again for Christmas, and he has a lot of vacation, so he'll come to the states when I am teaching. It's a temporary situation for the next 2 years or so, and then we'll have to decide whether to live in Germany or in the States. It's a big question and I know how you feel about the sacrifices and it being "your turn." My husband already stayed two years in the states waiting for me to finish my PhD, so I think it's my turn!
Sonja Barrett said…
I just made the move from Seattle to Melbourne Australia in February this year. I love it here, but I also cheated and went back to the US for a few weeks to celebrate my niece's graduation. My husband (an Aussie) and I have been living in Russia for several years and now we're settling in Melbourne for a while. I brought my most precious possessions with me and it already feels like home.

I love Germany and looking through your pics of clean, freshly painted, old buildings makes me itch for Europe again.

Something I miss from the States is Root Beer!

Have fun these last days before you go.
Dovely said…
oh holly! i'm so happy for you :) you sound so ready for all the changes you're about to experience!

i am about to move to Savannah with my long term boyfriend so we can both get our MFAs from SCAD. i have sort of the opposite situation in that agreeing to this change in my life is going to mean roughly 150k in debt for the two of us. its scary. terrifying actually.

through all the anxiety attacks and painful nightmares of never being able to pay that much money back while still affording to cover everyday expenses, i know this is absolutely the best thing i could be doing right now.

i'm excited to move very very very far away, to what seems like a different country than the NY Metro area. life is so FAST here! slowly things down and shaking things up a bit will be good, not only for me - but for my art too.

when things get overwhelming, your posts on your move calm me down. thank you so much for sharing this experience with us!
Victoria Klein said…
Woohoo - congrats on getting the place rented already. I actually thought you owned the house. You learn something new everyday, huh? :)

"It just never felt like a right fit." I've had that feeling my whole life & am still trying to find that "right place" ... I hope Germany is the place for you!

There's no time like the present, especially when you don't have kids trying you down, to live in a different country. I see a fantastic adventure ahead for both of you. :)

To put it simply, I can 100% relate to you. Living and writing in San Francisco for 3 years is much different than working in CT - and I'd take CT any day ... the calm allows my mind to wander and come up with more ideas, even without the big networking opportunities like in big cities.

P.S. I love love love the first picture you posted ... swoon :D (already made it a favorite on Flickr)
Laura said…
I can relate to that too. I am from Spain but I've living abroad for the last 6 years, first in Italy and now in Ireland. I came to Dublin with my boyfriend (he is Italian) for 'practical' reasons (better jobs, improving our English) and this country gave us a lot, but we could never feel that this is the place for us. Now it takes a lot of courage and determination to give up the stability and embark on the adventure of relocating again, but we feel it is necessary. By the way, Germany is in our dreams too.
Good luck!
Malinda said…
I have the itch to go somewhere now but 5 years ago, the room mate, my husband and I were all feeling like something needed change. We went looking for a new place to live in Austin, and ended up moving to LA instead. The decision was made LITERALLY by a coin toss in a parking lot.

We're going to plan better this time. Already starting to look around.....
Hilda said…
Thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings Holly. I read Haus Maus religiously.

It is very exciting for me to absorb all the information you post, as my husband and I are planning to do the same thing. While we both grew up (and currently live) in Western Canada, a lot of my family is in Germany. Last year my Husband and I decided to relocate to Berlin in January 2011. We are beyond excited, and reading your blog is a constant inspiration for us.

Thanks again!
Barbara C said…
I felt that I don't fit in where I've lived, but I understand the adventure part of it all. My husband and I relocated from Wisconsin to the Atlanta,GA area 25years ago and still enjoy it here. We have moved 4 times - I did to move every 7 years or so.

I started reading Haus Maus and Decor8 just before you went to Germany last year and look forward to you new adventures in Germany full time.
alix said…
Lovely lovely post Ms H.
So I'm at a bit of a cross roads myself these days. In some ways i can't relate. I live in San Francisco where I've lived for nearly 20 years now. And i LOVE it here. The weather, the architecture, the people, the vibe. Love love love our beautiful city. In that sense, yes, i've found a great "home". At the same time having Wolfie enter our lives changed things for me dramatically. The public schools in California (esp the Bay Area) are sadly very mediocre. There are some amazing schools but they are either in areas where the starting price for a home is $750K OR they are way out in the cookie cutter suburbs (which them makes me think, if I move all the way out there....what's the point of staying in the Bay Area??). I'm also very far from my parents and in-laws (who are in Michigan and South Carolina respectively) and I wish we were closer so Wolfie could visit them more regularly.
So I'm at a point where I think, do I pack it up and move my family some place more affordable and/or closer to the grand parents? Or do we stick it out here? Portland and New York are the two places where work opportunities have come up (NYC sounds amazing and terrifying!! Like outta the frying pan into the fryer...we'd have to consider living just outside the city like maybe NJ or Conn. But it would be a great job and so much closer to parents...and NY sounds pretty damn fun). Anyway, I'm so impressed with (and admiring of) your decision to pack it all up and try something new!!! I am truly living vicariously through you!
Stockton said…
Holly I just want to say that I find this post so inspiring (actually reading all about your journey so far on haus maus)! My husband and I hope to make a similar 'big move' some day and are laying the ground work now to do so ... it is so great to see someone who is doing it, and hear that the sacrifices that got you here were worth it. Can't wait to read about your new life in Germany ... thank you so much for sharing!
helen said…
dear Holly, I just wanted wish you all the best with your move and your exciting new life in Hannover.

I've just moved country (like you, it was my 'turn'!) and despite STILL being rubbish at the language, and having the odd bad moment, I love it here and feel at home.

I hope that you have great fun and am looking forward so much to reading about your adventures.
Tilda B. Hervé said…
hello there and welcome in europe! if you'll need some day a short break, Zurich is so near.... ;-)
Anne Garcia said…
I know the feeling. I happily moved to Manhattan to be with my then-boyfriend/now-husband, and it was never comfortable for me. We've just moved to Brooklyn, and I love our new home. In fact, I'm so excited about it that I can't keep it to myself and have been blogging about it. I enjoy reading about your transition, and if you'd like to check out mine, it's at www.ageographyofliving.blogspot.com.
Nichole said…
Wow, I have to say I am about to go through a similar change. I'm not moving out of the country...but I'm making a change nonetheless.

My daughter and I have been living with my mother for a year, while my husband works out of state. On July 20 we are moving into a new (rented) house as a family. Our first real house. I am so very excited!

I can definitely identify with your emotions! This last year has been such a huge sacrifice for us, but so very worth it!

Good luck on your journey!
annechovie said…
I am so excited for you, Holly! The best part is that I can still keep up with you via your blog. I can't wait to see your photos and read about your new life and adventures. You were the first blogger to show me support and encourage me with my work and I will always be very grateful for that. All of the good things you have sown into the lives of others will come back to you. Bon Voyage and all the best to you and Thorsten with your new life in Germany!!
Ann Marie said…
Oh Holly, sounds so great. Glad to hear how happy you are. All good things come in time. Enjoy your last month in the States. I'm looking forward to following your adventures as you move (and live) abroad.

Hugs,
Ann
Anonymous said…
Hello,

I can so relate to your feelings, because I have been living in a small german provincial town for more than two years now - after living in Berlin - and am probably going to stay for some while, because my life partner has a very good job here. It's a very conservative town and I often feel that I don't really fit in. But anyhow, one never knows...I might get a job elsewhere and would have to commute and I've seen it happening to other people that they thought they would stay in a certain place, just to find themselves elsewhere a few months later...

I grew up in Hannover-List, so I think it's one of the best places to live in! I wish you all the best for your future. May all you dream of come true!

Hana

P.S.: Oh, and I love reading your blog!
Lovely Sunflower said…
Absolutely... In August 2003 I packed my stuff (a tabletop computer, hehehe and an American Eagle winter jacket took most of the place in my suitcase) and got on a train to Hanover.

I didnt have much to leave behind. What I had were all the hopes and expectations and that was such a wonderful feeling. There was also someone waiting for me in the city that has since become my second home.

Good luck, Holly!
Carolyn said…
I can totally relate! Very well said. Except I'm feeling that now that I have moved to Europe...that seclusion thing that brings out something in us. It's like I had to get away from it all and live a simpler life to really see what I enjoy. We spend SO much less here, eat healthier, way less stress and I'm learning to cook more and am really really enjoying blogging..something I wouldn't have had time to put into before in Houston. You realize how busybody America is. There is not really anything wrong with that except that people forget to stop and soak in life. I was so busy finding the next thing to shop for...clothes, apt stuff, etc. that I never really was satisfied with what I had. Now, this will probably be a never ending struggle for me, but I find in Europe it's easier. People live more simply. Now, all that being said...I do miss my family and friends dearly and miss the comfort of home too. But, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. Especially in the first years of our marriage. It's been wonderful.

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