Can I keep you forever + ever?
When you relocate to another country you can expect to learn many things about the "new" world around you - language, culture, rules of etiquette, style, food... whatever you thought you knew about a country is much different once you live and work there. Once the charm has faded, and it does even if you live in the most spectacular of European destinations, real life sets in and you are faced with the challenges and joys that real life brings in any country. As an expat living in Germany now for nearly 20 months, I've learned a lot about German life and culture, even European life in general, but I've learned something that I never imagined could be taught simply by moving to a new place.
I've learned just how much I love this guy. See this face?
It may mean nothing to you to see this man. Sure, you may pass him and think he is smartly dressed, handsome, tall, etc. Though I'm guessing that on the street, you may walk right by him and not know just how special he is inside - beyond what you see -- and how much I truly love him. But this is the man that I found and wanted to marry when I was in my 20s, the man whom I've known since 1998, and the one with whom I'll be married to soon for 10 years on July 14, 2011.
That sweet face, those blue eyes, that man is the person with whom my heart belongs and always will. He shares everything with me and loves all shades of my often very complicated rainbow of a personality.
He is a good man, loving, gentle, kind, sensitive -- but also balanced, intelligent, creative, strong... Today we were at a spring fair and I looked over at him and snapped the above photo with my iPhone. When I got home and uploaded it to my computer, I looked into his eyes staring out from my screen, almost looking intentionally upon me there in my chair and I thought of how much I rely on him, need him and love him. I mean, hugely.
When you live abroad and feel upside down so many times, it's your loving partner and friend who can really make (or break) the experience. My husband has been great throughout this adjustment period for me. He is German, but he isn't German inside -- he is a mix of many cultures and I think this comes from his love for all things English, Irish and Scottish but also his experience living in America, particularly New England, for eight years. Plus, before moving to America he was always hanging around with, and fascinated by, his Italian and Spanish friends. He is German but not 100% connected to his own culture and life here, though he is very connected in other ways and it is his homeland so he'll always feel most comfortable and happy living in Hannover where he was born and raised. But despite having his home here, he can still relate to me -- he knows what it feels like to leave his land to set off for new shores with only a partner to rely on. Now that the tables are turned and I am exploring his culture, I can't help but love him more than I ever did before because of his support, friendship, encouragement, patience, and loads of unconditional love. He really looks out for me and I appreciate that more than mere words can express as love is so hard to express in words, much more so on a blog.
If you recently moved to a new city, state or country please pause a moment and think about how your partner has affected your experience and go give them a big kiss. We expats would have a much harder time without our loving families, wouldn't we?
Thorsten my dear, I plan to keep you forever + ever.
(image: holly becker for haus maus)
I've learned just how much I love this guy. See this face?
It may mean nothing to you to see this man. Sure, you may pass him and think he is smartly dressed, handsome, tall, etc. Though I'm guessing that on the street, you may walk right by him and not know just how special he is inside - beyond what you see -- and how much I truly love him. But this is the man that I found and wanted to marry when I was in my 20s, the man whom I've known since 1998, and the one with whom I'll be married to soon for 10 years on July 14, 2011.
That sweet face, those blue eyes, that man is the person with whom my heart belongs and always will. He shares everything with me and loves all shades of my often very complicated rainbow of a personality.
He is a good man, loving, gentle, kind, sensitive -- but also balanced, intelligent, creative, strong... Today we were at a spring fair and I looked over at him and snapped the above photo with my iPhone. When I got home and uploaded it to my computer, I looked into his eyes staring out from my screen, almost looking intentionally upon me there in my chair and I thought of how much I rely on him, need him and love him. I mean, hugely.
When you live abroad and feel upside down so many times, it's your loving partner and friend who can really make (or break) the experience. My husband has been great throughout this adjustment period for me. He is German, but he isn't German inside -- he is a mix of many cultures and I think this comes from his love for all things English, Irish and Scottish but also his experience living in America, particularly New England, for eight years. Plus, before moving to America he was always hanging around with, and fascinated by, his Italian and Spanish friends. He is German but not 100% connected to his own culture and life here, though he is very connected in other ways and it is his homeland so he'll always feel most comfortable and happy living in Hannover where he was born and raised. But despite having his home here, he can still relate to me -- he knows what it feels like to leave his land to set off for new shores with only a partner to rely on. Now that the tables are turned and I am exploring his culture, I can't help but love him more than I ever did before because of his support, friendship, encouragement, patience, and loads of unconditional love. He really looks out for me and I appreciate that more than mere words can express as love is so hard to express in words, much more so on a blog.
If you recently moved to a new city, state or country please pause a moment and think about how your partner has affected your experience and go give them a big kiss. We expats would have a much harder time without our loving families, wouldn't we?
Thorsten my dear, I plan to keep you forever + ever.
(image: holly becker for haus maus)
Comments
Thank you for being so personal.
Thank you for showing love.
You put tears in my eyes & warmth in my heart.
xo Jeanette
(from another expat who feels much the same about her man, 15 years on :)
I always regret not to move with him, once I could think clearly again. Now I know that nothing could have been that bad that his love wouldn´t have made up for it. I`m glad that you see what you have in your husband and I wish you and Thorsten all the best and lots of happy times together no matter where you are.
So, I think you and all of the others who commented on your heartfelt post will be able to relate to one of my favorite Rumi quotes:
The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,
they're in each other all along.
Thorsten's expression as he looks at you says it all- it's a look of admiration, friendship and love all at the same time. What a wonderful match you make. Thank you for sharing your gratitude with us.
Happy (early) anniversary to you two!
You and Thorsten are lucky to have each other :) All the best. xo
I recently moved into a new flat. Not new town, but since than my life changed completly. New home, new life! I changed and it was my chance to see true love beneath the surface. My love came into my life the same time i moved into the new home. We knew each other over a few months, but i wasn't able to see what he and i really felt for each other. If you see him you might not give much of intention to him, like you said, Holly. To most of the people he would look ordinary. But he is special in your eyes when you look with love to him. All the little things you discover every day you spend with him make him special. And every day you spend time with him you love him more.
If you look under the surface you can find love.
Before i met him i was too affected by superficiality. I didn't even realize that i was superficial. Now i know better and see what it does to most of the people. I'm really happy my life changed that way and that i was able to recognize the love.
Hihi, he is sitting right next to me and doesn't know what i'm writing. I think i will stop now and tell him :)
I too am an expat and it can be a make or break for a relationship. So happy to report that it made me see so many aspects of my husband..but most of all the fact that he has only one purpose in life - and that is to make me happy.... how lucky am I ??!!! He takes good care of me in all these foreign countries.
So it is good to be reminded again by your post - to be thankful each and every day !!!
May you both have many wonderful years of exploring life and love in your future.
Blessings to you!
I completely "get it". My husband of almost 12 years {together almost 19!} means the same to me.
We moved to a different state when we first were married. We bonded so much being distanced from our family and old friends. I believe that bonding sealed the deal for us. We are best friends, forever.
Happy for you and Thorsten.
Cheers~Ivy
Your post reminded me again how blessed I am. Thanks!
thank you Holly for sharing your story & your love!
Hugs, Iris
Moving to another country can either break your relationship or make it a million times stronger for all the challenges and emotional turmoil you face.
I am German born and my husband is a New Zealander. I have lived in "his" country for many years and now it's his turn to live in "mine". I had to chuckle a little when you said that Thorsten is not 100% German... I know exactly what you mean ;-)
Hugs
Nina
There is nothing more important than love when you are far away from home.
xo
Melis
Your post really resonates with me. My German boyfriend too is a person of many places-- he speaks seven languages. But the best thing about him is his sensitivity and compassion. Thank you so much for your blog. My bf and I are separated by the Atlantic, but you give us hope and reassurance that we can make a happy life with much gemuetlichkeit together in Germany.
i will be moving to a new country soon, for work, and i hope i can find love one day like how you have found it so many years ago.
I didn't, but I made friends which worked for me. Both expat friends and german friends.
It can be extremely difficult. Even though I had grown up with german at home and spoke it fluently, I still got headaches from the language (maybe concentration) for the first few months, and I distinctly remember latching on to english speaking antipodean friends!!
But now that I don't live there anymore, there are aspects, especially of Frankfurt, that I really really miss!!
Keep well Holly.
fondly,
glenda
I also read all these wonderful comments of all those wonderful people. It's not an easy thing to leave your country, your family and friends and your life behind.
I am very lucky to have a partner who is sympathetic and caring and loving. He has always given me all the support and love I could wish for.
Maybe because it was so difficult to get together we do appreciate each other so very much. What we've got feels really solid and strong.
I am happy for you and Thorsten and all the lovely commenters.
We've lived in Germany for just over a year now. Unfortunately, my best friend and husband has only been here for a few months of that. But, he's always here via skype and email and in my heart and in my mind. And you are SO right about how close an experience like this can bring you.
Lately, I've been thinking about it and I realize that we've gone from being college kids together, to starting careers, to having kids, to picking up and taking on a new country together...what couldn't we do together!? Nothing, I'd say. And I love that!
I'm an expat too -- funny enough, my husband and I are BOTH living outside our home countries (U.S. for me and Italy for him) in France. Gets us on more equal footing I suppose!
I wish you and Thorsten all the best for the future!
I have dedicated him all my successes in study, all my professional certificates.
I made a stained Glass Lamps to give him as a present of my love.
Because of him, and just because of him, I like Quebec and I like all Quebecois (e).
I have tried to communicate with him in my best manner, in all ways which are possible for me. I’ve tried to show him how much I love him and how much I admire him. In this way, I have listened just to my heart that loves him so much.
But, he didn’t understand or he didn’t want to understand. He didn’t see my beautiful love, or he didn’t want to see it. He has transferred all to my boss, and I have lost my Job.
He called police to arrest me as Harassment. Police put me in the jail. Since January 2011 my life is hellish.
I’m so alone in this Country which I named my home since last 5 years. But, I love him unconditionally. No matter what he did, I love him, and I love loving him.
His name is Jean Carpentier, The vice president of Petromont.
It’s for four years that I request God, every minute and every second, just his real and visible presence in my life. Amen.