The Crying Game

Well the place we saw on Sunday is offline which means it was rented, and they never called us to follow up -- so I'm guessing it's been rented and wasn't meant to be. But really who cares because I'm not ready to settle for an apartment with a big ugly oven in the living room and dark "faux" wood plastic floors. Can you sense my tone? Yeah, I have a tone all right because let's say that we even DID want it, the fact that they never bothered to call us back after we filled out the renter's form and left our number is a bit annoying.

little things

Finding an apartment has been a nightmare, one I never imagined having in a city that I thought was pretty low on the "hot spots to live in Germany" list. My friends are still searching, they have the same criteria as mine, in the same neighborhood -- and none of us have found anything. Tomorrow we're going to another "open house" but the apartment is facing the subway on the lower floor so I'm wondering if I should even bother? My husband tells me to give up my search. He says that, in the same way we found eachother, a place will also come to us when we are not desperate or in want of heart. But to end my search scares me. Perhaps I should though. My friend already told me that if she finds an apartment that we can have her flat, and though it's only one extra room more than we have now, at least the kitchen is eat-in and she has a balcony and is located across from the forest and near all of the shopping on Hannover's best street. Maybe that will be where we end up because at this rate, it doesn't look like we'll be moving anytime soon. What a drag. (image: holly becker)

Comments

Sara Moriarty said…
Good morning Holly. That is a total drag. House hunting is a crazy roller coster of emotions, isn't it? I am looking for a new place as well and have suffered the highs and lows. I keep reminding myself to be grateful that I don't have an impending deadline to move. I can go at my own pace and ride the waves of joy/disappointment without a rush. Keep that in mind.

Thank you for sharing this process in your blog. I appreciate knowing I'm not alone in the House Hunting journey.

In hope, Sara
Monica said…
Well, I have found the best shoes using "the stop looking" method. So maybe the same will work with your apartment hunt? :) Totally understand your frustration. Sending encouragement your way!!
jebcat said…
Kopf hoch, Holly! One day you'll find your place. I found my apartment in Munich when I had almost given up on it and (though not perfect) it turned out to be much nicer than expected - it's my 4th year now there. Please don't despair!
glg Jeannette
frauheuberg said…
oh holly, so sorry for this...but i had the same experiences with some landlords...they never called me back...or you stand out of an appartement you want to look and nobody come...there are so many silly people outside...really...so mabye your husband has the proper adjustment...sometimes when you let something out it comes back to you...i believe you two find the right way...think to you...toi,toi,toi...;)...
Samantha said…
Well, maybe it will feel better to tell yourself you're not going give up completely, but rather, maybe a break from the search will do you some good. Walk away from it, relax, don't think about it, and start up again later with a clear mind.

It might make you feel better. At least you currently have a lovely apartment with no circumstances that are forcing you to move (ie lease ending, etc)...so take some time to destress! (-:
Stratos Bacalis said…
Don't despair. I agree with your husband: it will come when you least expect it!
Bethany said…
Your home is out there! Don't give up or get discouraged. Maybe all these "bad" apartments are there to keep you from settling before you find the perfect one.
YYZ said…
In no way is this meant to be a discouraging comment, so bear with me. My partner and I looked for 5 years before we found our house. I was so sad, so devastated, so many times during the search. When we finally found it, I was NOT INTERESTED in the house-- it looked shabby and ugly. But then I went inside: it was full of light! It had tons of character! The floors were hard wood! We could fix it up!

And now I LOVE our little house. When I think of all the others we looked at and did not get, all the heartache, I know it was all worthwhile because OUR house was waiting for us.

Hang in there, Holly-- your apartment is so pretty and you put it together with such love. The right house is out there, just waiting for you! I know it is.
Katie said…
I'm sorry things aren't going well! My husband and I have been looking for a house since October and have had little luck. Our lease is up at the end of April and I'm starting to feel very frustrated. Thanks so much for sharing your house hunting struggles! It's always nice to know someone is sharing similar frustrations! Good luck and hopefully we'll both find the perfect place soon!
Desiree said…
Guh, that's a total bummer. Not meant to be though! You'll find something fab, keep looking!!
Ele said…
Oh Holly, I'm sorry. How rude of them not to call you back- I suppose no one likes initiating the "We rented it but not to you" conversation.

I've noticed in your apartment-hunting posts, the comments seem divided into two groups: those that say to take a less-than-perfect apartment, turn it into your dream home and then move on with your life, and those that say hold on, don't settle, you'll know the perfect flat when you see it. Both arguments make a lot of sense, but which side resonates more with you?

Maybe don't end your search, but put it on hold for a few months. Let the market turn over a bit, let your own head clear up- come back to it with fresh vigour in the summer?
Juliette said…
aww, sorry! it took us forever too, with a long break in the middle. We got fed up as well. seriously, have you tried putting an ad in the paper saying what you're looking for?

Also, I'm serious when I say this: Lots of families (in those 4-5 ZKB places) move in the summer, when kids are out of school and it's easier for parents to get time off work. March/April/May should be good times to find a bigger selection as people give their landlords that 3 month notice.

We live in a tiny university town, and even here it can take years to find a new home. I've been so impressed with how many places you've found even worth visiting! Be encouraged!
haus maus said…
Ele thank you for asking me this question, you are right and I've noticed that too - divided responses. I am very open to renovating a home and in fact, I'd LOVE to find a fixer upper with good bones where I could do the entire renovation myself. I have experience with hardwood floor installation, wallpaper, painting, ceiling painting, tiling, you name it. Ideally I'd love to find an apartment exactly like the one that we looked at on Sunday only with the option of installing the flooring that we want. Most landlords here let you do whatever you want to the floors and if what you did is better than what was there when you moved in, you don't normally have to change it back when you move out. That is why I asked the landlady if I could replace the flooring using my own funds with hardwood because I do not like laminate flooring and since she had just picked it out and installed it, her face went white and she looked deeply well... shall I say, pissed!? Thing is, the dark laminate flooring was SO filthy as we toured the house, you could see every smear and smudge and drop of dirt, it is nothing at all like my current light "faux" wood laminate that I have. My current laminate is fine though it is extremely cold in the winter and is loud whenever you walk on it with shoes or drop something. I just like hardwood better and if it's not glossy dark brown laminate then good -- because I'd have to constantly clean it and that would make me somewhat crazy.

So! I want to find an apartment that I love in the end and one where I can make some changes, if needed, without the landlord looking at me like I had bad taste/ideas. :) I'm very open-minded, I have renovated around 40 properties in my lifetime (or more) and designed about 20 client spaces so I have no problem getting dirty and working hard to accomplish something. It's just not happening here so far though and this does break my heart.

By the way -- my husband told me that the landlady kept asking everyone who came in the door to view the apartment if they had kids and she was very excited whenever couples did, so this may be another one of those discriminating landlords again. We run into them all the time here now, it's common -- if you are over 30 and don't have kids and want a 5 room apartment they don't want to rent it to you - they'd rather give it to parents. I don't GET this way of thinking, but whatever.
Anonymous said…
I think you're having so much trouble because you have very very specific expectations and from what I read, not willing to compromise on a lot of things. Which is a good thing! But it makes finding an apartment very hard, I agree. As long as you're not pressed for time, it's good to relax the search. Maybe look at offers once a week, but don't stress yourself. The right apartment will come.
Brigitte said…
Oh, do I ever relate to the issues of dark flooring...laminate or otherwise! Thank the lord I don't have it now!

I think you should give yourself a bit of a break and not bother with places that you know already won't work...like this one that's next to a subway station. Save your time and energy for the places you can really see yourself in and avoid all the burnout. You're already such a busy bee!
Jennifer said…
Don't be discouraged! I just finished reading a book called "Gimme Shelter" by Mary Elizabeth Williams about the author trying to find the right New York City apartment for her family. It took a couple years, but they did it. Check it out.
Arabella said…
Echoing Monica - I found the best man using the "stop looking" method. If it works for shoes and husbands it's got to be a contender for apartments.
Bon chance!
Linz said…
sorry to hear about your lack of fortune thus far. definitely take a more relaxed stance - if you're not desperate for a place right now, search for it in a way that doesn't stress you out. i'm obsessed with finding the perfect place myself, and don't stop till i find it. but it really is stressful to do it that way.
Gabbi said…
I can so relate to your apartment search! I am looking for an apartment in Boston and my oh my, it is not cheap here! We want to live in Cambridge because we want to be close to "everything", because after 2 yrs in Philadelphia's suburbs we do no longer want to live in the suburbs (we are originally from Europe and really like the idea of not having to drive everywhere)!

It is not easy to find something affordable here... But we try to keep positive and hope that everything will work out in the end. I am sure everything works out for you too, things usually do, and you've probably learned a thing or two along the way :)

Good luck!
Catharina said…
When my 3 best friends and I were looking for an apartment in Vienna with 4 separate bedrooms (plus other requirements that were important to us), we thought we would never find what we were looking for. We were about to settle for a place that was more expensive than we could afford and had a bunch of other downsides to it...when we decided to look at just ONE more random apartment, for the sole purpose of proving to us that the perfect apartment for us really wasn't out there. And then this one apartment that we randomly selected from an online site ended up being The One. We have been living there for 5 years! :-) Don't give up.
Frau Mayer said…
I have never heard of children-loving landlords. I've seen some cat-hating ones, though, and I did walk away immediately after having been told that "no cats here in my precious hole" nonsense.
One more thing you should probably think of - when it comes to choosing, German landlords tend to pick someone with a "normal" job which, for them, screams "stable income". My self-employed friends have reported discrimination in this area, too. And please, don't expect them to call and tell you they're not taking you, it's not common here at all. Unfortunately...
Although I've just written a bunch of depressing things, the dream apartment is what happening in your head. Try writing a very detailed letter to the universe, describing every inch of that apartment and put it into some lucky area of your current dwelling. These things work!
And maybe - just a thought - being a kilometer further from Lister Platz/Eilenriede and other must-have locations will finally get you your dream apartment. Best of luck, Holly!
Karen said…
Don´t take it personally if they don´t call you to say that you can not have the place!

My sister once sublet her place for 2 years. She had 29 people come to look at the apartment. 22 of them said they were interested. She told everyone if they didn´t hear from her until day X, then the apartment would have gone to another person.

Landlords often can not give every person who looked at a place a call. It is just too much!
Little Pinwheel said…
wow, was that big thing in the lounge room an oven? I thought it was a fireplace!!! LOL!

You are such an inspiration Holly and whatever you decide to do, sit on the fence for while or keep going I am sure we will all still be here to help you with your search, or just to watch your life unfold.

If I was in Germany you could borrow my children to look at homes! That way you wouldn't face the discrimination!
Gabi said…
Hi Holly, although i read your blog for mor than 2 years now, I never left a comment.. but today I just want to share with you that we had the same problem to find a place here in munich, and when we thought it was the dead end and we would have to live in a 1 bedroom apartment forever,our flat just came as a gift from God.

So don't give up! We also had loads of landlords that NEVER gave us reply to say yes or no. I find this very rude! What I would say is, don't make this your main occupation or let this take you whole attention, and things will get better, you'll see!

I am an architect, i also wanted something nice and my biggest expectation was a new bathroom. Didnt dream with a old style flat because that would be impossible to get in a reasonable price in munich. Trust me, Munich is very hard to find a place, and also very very expensive! And we got it in the end. For the price we wanted and provisionsfrei. And we could not believe!

My husband was just starting at his new job and I was on experience still on my job,and we still got it. So just be patient (I know, it is hard!) and things will find its place soon.

Good luck!
Anne Garcia said…
It'll work out! I know it will. When my husband and I were looking for our current home, we found the perfect condo here in Brooklyn: near the subway, in a brownstone, fully renovated, condo (not co-op), 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, with a washer/dryer. But we couldn't buy it because fewer than 70% of the units had been sold, so the bank wouldn't make a loan. It was like the perfect place just beyond our grasp! We kept looking at other apartments and even made an offer on another one. We were in another open house and noticed that it looked like the one we loved, and the real estate agent said that it was remodeled by the same developer and that 70% of the units at the other place had been sold - in fact, there was only one left. Long story short - here we are in our perfect home! Every day I pinch myself. Something good will come your way soon. You'll make it so!
Anonymous said…
You better find a place before you have kids because you will never find a great place with kids. Landlords DON'T like kids. We have 4 kids in Germany and the Realtor told me honestly that the landlords would rather rent to someone with a pet then to someone with four kids.
This is Germany, not everything is so great. Get real, and don't be so picky!
Corny said…
You better find a place before you have children. Landlords DON'T like children. One Realtor told me once, that the Landlord rather take a family with a pet then a family with four children. I ask him if the landlord would just meet with us so he could see the kids but that never happen. We lived 24 month in a Hotel before we found a nice house.
Germany has its ups and downs just like any other place. Maybe you are a bit to picky!
Anonymous said…
DO NOT GIVE UP!! hope is all we have!! best luck!!
Anonymous said…
Sorry you didn't get it! Maybe if you had, though, the floors would've driven you crazy like "the yellow wallpaper." I know what you mean about laminate flooring. We looked at a place in Sudstadt and I couldn't get past the floors. Hopefully my husband will find something next month b/c we DO have a deadline or we will be in temporary housing for a long time.
Eleanor said…
Hi Holly - I can totally relate, and it sucks. As far as giving up or not giving up, for what it's worth, I'll share with you my personal theory of how the universe works. This theory has applied to finding both my dream apartment and my dream man (now my husband.) In short - you have to show the universe that you are doing your part (which you are) and chances are you will actually find and get exactly what you want and/or need, but not through the channels you were investing all of your efforts in. For example, I searched for the perfect apartment in Munich for 5 years (not to discourage you!). I lived with roommates, I lived in a friend's office, I went to showings, I really hustled. In the end I got the most awesome apartment in the middle of town because a good friend and fellow American left Germany. I got the apartment with no markler fees, no competition, I just sailed right in. So I could have just done nothing and the results would have been the same. However, I think that all those efforts somehow kept the universal gears working in my favor. Same thing with my husband - I online dated, I went out with girlfriends on nights when I just wanted to stay home with my DVDs and a bottle of wine. I duty dated, I speed dated, I went to afterwork parties and I never really met anyone that clicked, but I pressed on. Then one day I was staffed to a project at work, and one of the new team members, whose desk was placed directly in front of mine, turned out to be the greatest guy in the world. We got to know each other easily and casually, and our relationship took root and blossomed with an effortlessness that I never dared believe was possible. So maybe I could have stayed home with the Wine and the DVDs after all. Maybe everything would have worked out the same, but something tells me that all my efforts, in some roundabout way contributed to me meeting my husband. Short story long: keep up your efforts, and somehow, probably in some way that is totally unexpected, you will get everything that you want and need.
Robert T. said…
I work as a realttor. And I have the feeling your expectations are a bit unrealistic. As far as I understand you have been to what...? Six or seven open houses? Ten? Eleven?
That´s NOTHING! Some people look at six places each weekend.

Maybe in small towns or unpopular areas you could find a perfect place in no time. But in most towns (meaning: worldwide) popular neighbourhoods have very limited housing on offer.

You have very specific ideas and are still lucky enough that apartments which match most of your criteria are on offer. Some of the places you write about sound great and the prices are low compared to most cities. And still you are not interested in them!? I think it is your good right not to want a new home that you do not like the look of. You should feel comfortable in a new home. But there is no reason to sulk because a landlord does not choose you. Landlords also have the right to choose tennants they feel comfortable with. If a potential tennant asks about changing a floor that was newly installed, I wouldn´t prefer him to move in, either. Would you? Anyone would choose the tennant that seems positive and happy about the space on offer.

Sorry, no offence! But you seem a little naive to me. It´s good to have high expectations. But you can not expect others to satisfy your needs for you.

I read in a previous post you might locate to London, as you are fed up with the real estate situation in your town. Thats as if an eskimo wants to move from Alaska to Africa, because he expects to find nicer igloos there ;-)

Still, i wish you luck. And my experience says you will find a place that is good for you.
donna said…
I feel your pain! If you don't have an immediate need to move, I would follow your husband's advice and stop looking. The perfect rental opportunity will find you. Best of luck!
Holly, Apartment hunting in Germany is very, very tough. There are very few apartments in comparison to the market for those apartments, even in the less popular cities.

And the type of place you would be interested in, in all honesty, normally comes with huge strings -- a limited time rental contract (something that ONLY benefits the landlord) or simply a much higher per-square meter rental price.

That or you will have to invest 5-10-20k of your own money renovating a property which is maybe more ideal for you but is not renovated. I have many friends who have done that without blinking an eye. Some try to arrange that they can charge an "abstand" if they leave the apartment - but most lose everything.

I was one of those people who looked at 5 -10 places a week for half a year every time we changed residences. And I still had to compromise big time. Hamburg is much more sought after than Hanover, of course, but the point is really that any city has sought after neighborhoods and everyone in your demographic wants a place there for a good price with real wood floors etc etc.

For 4-5 rooms, 120-140 square meteres in the best areas of any city in Germany, altbau, the prices are high and the choice is small. For that size apartment in Hamburg, for instance, renovated, you are looking at 1700-2000 a month rent cold. If you expect to pay 800-1000 a month cold, with an unlimited rental contract, there will be huge compromises regardless.

Man bezahlt so oder so.

Are there no nice, gentrifying outlying towns near Hanover that could be a possibility?

I would be looking in Celle also if I were you.

So I agree with your husband. If you let it go it might come back to you in a different form.
oh that sounded ridiculously negative of me. I didn't mean it that way.

It might help you a little to think of this from the opposite position.

If you had a nice apartment that you were trying to rent out in Germany, you would advertise it and get the floods of people to your door.

Here would be your main concern: In Germany it takes, on average, over two years to get a dead beat tenant out -- count that from the first time they skip the rent. If they even show intention to pay -- like giving you a 20 euro bill when they owe you thousands, that can count in the Court as an intention to pay and delay the entire process further. In the end you have to get a Gerichtvollstrechungsbefehl which gives you the right to break into your own apartment to get it back. And of course, deadbeat tenants leave a messy, trashed apartment behind. The whole process can take years, and in the mean time you might lose the apartment because you could not make the mortgage payments.

And it is not just at the lower socioeconomic end of the scale. Fact is, some very educated people in Germany end up being deadbeat tenants because they know they can get away with it.

This is what is on many landlords' minds. This is why we opted to sell our apartment in Hamburg instead of renting it out.

This is why landlords go with the lowest possible risk: someone with a solid, unlimited employment contract, a history of making rent payments, and a good SHUFA (credit report). Someone that looks like they won't make waves. So when you ask if you can replace the floor (as an American without a German employment contract etc), you can see what goes through the landlord's mind -- rather to take a safe German working for Opel. See what I mean?

Being a tenant in Germany is tough. Being a landlord is also really tough. Maybe you can arm yourself with this knowledge and come up with a new strategy which increases your odds, in how you approach the Landlord.

Just some thoughts.
Suana said…
Amazing how difficult it seems to find an apartment ! I also, have been looking for a new apartment since August. Come November I had literally given up, but still couldn't stop looking. The thought of "... ending up, living in a tent..." as you put it so well, gave me the willies. By December, I had lost hope and just went with the mantra: "if it is meant to be, it'll come to me". Sure enough, a month and a half later I found the place ! I still have to sign, and it will be mine... Holly, I hear your pain. Don't give up, and just let it be, it will come to you
Wishing you peace of mind and success!
Suana

Popular Posts