20 Common Pregnancy Fears That May Not Happen

The moment my pregnancy test was positive, I raced out and bought a second one. I simply couldn't believe it. When THAT test confirmed I was indeed with child, I immediately purchased a digital copy of the American pregnancy bible, "What To Expect When You're Expecting", and read it from cover to cover. I wanted to know everything. I frequented baby websites and forums. I became saturated with one horror story after another. Within a week, I was super burnt out and annoyed and realized that this is all a bunch of crap. Why was I doing this to myself? I deleted the book, stopped looking at forums and most websites (unless they were legit medical websites with actual doctors and nurses authoring their articles), and made an appointment with my Ob/gyn. By the 6th week of pregnancy, I not only saw the baby on the ultrasound but experienced the first sign of pregnancy.

I barfed.

A lot.

In fact, my vomit episodes became so frequent that the doctor ordered I get an IV since I was dehydrated. I lost 20 pounds during the first trimester. Twenty. Pounds. Yeah that was scary. At a time when you want your baby to be nourished, your body won't allow you to keep a single glass of water down for more than 5 minutes. It was terrifying but I kept my faith - I stayed out of forums and off of websites and decided to get a midwife. During our first appointment, I hired her right away because we clicked. She is very no-nonsense. The first thing she told me was, "Stay off the internet, text me instead." That was a good sign. We've been texting ever since. She suggested to up my dosage of magnesium. While it didn't help much in the beginning, after week 18 I stopped vomiting 4-5 x a day.

In fact, I stopped vomiting on a daily basis.

As long as I eat at certain times during the day, even now, I can avoid vomiting and extreme nausea. The moment I feel nausea coming on, I eat something small. During the first 18 weeks when I tried this, it did not work. Nothing worked. My friends told me to try ginger (didn't work), ginger chews (didn't work), sea bands (didn't work), the list went on and on, filled with loving and well-intended suggestions. In the end, only a higher dosage of magnesium helped and TIME. Time helped. And while I just vomited a few times again last week, it's nothing like weeks 6-18 when I was so sick that I couldn't move and was bedridden most of the summer. That sucked. A lot.

Today begins week 27. 

I'm in the final week of my second trimester. Week 28 is next week, and that begins the third and final trimester. I can't believe how far I've come and how healthy my baby boy is. He is growing, my belly has popped out, I am gaining weight at a normal pace and life is good for baby and I. I still weigh less than I did when I got pregnant, but that's fine - the baby is healthy and other than my iron being low (I just started taking supplements to help this), I'm good.

You must be asking... At what part of this am I not supposed to fear pregnancy? This part. I want non-moms out there and those who have delayed getting pregnant because of the drama you've heard about it, or due to something you've read, or your own mother's terrible pregnancy, or how your BFF had the worst pregnancy ever that...

NONE OF THAT APPLIES TO YOU.

What I have learned is that pregnancy is a VERY intimate and personal experience. No two pregnancies are alike. Here is a list of COMMON PREGNANCY WOES (some aren't so woeful though) that I've read in books and online (before I decided to stop reading this crap!) and even heard from my doctor that haven't happened to me yet. And if they do happen, I will update this post later on. 

1) Your boobs will get ginormous. I already have a very full C cup (I know, I'm lucky!), borderline D, but my boobs are the same size today as they were before. They feel a little fuller some days, but nothing that gives me Victoria's Secret Runway cleavage (without a bra and/or duct tape). I read that you will have the more glorious round boobs in the world when you get pregnant. I had them before, so maybe that's why (grin) but they didn't get bigger. Which was my fear. I didn't want massive boobs that would require a massive bra to put them in. Nope. I'm wearing the same bra today as I did when I got pregnant. I'm sure once my milk comes in, this will change a little, but some of my friends saw major boobage within the first 5 months. I'm nearing month 7 and for me, all is normal in boobland.

2) YOU will get enormous. For me, this hasn't been the case. Yeah, my belly has ballooned but that's to be expected. And yes, I did have extreme nausea for the first 18 weeks, but I've been able to eat normally for the past 8 weeks and the weight isn't piling on. The only weight I've gained is the weight of the placenta and baby and other "stuff" that I'm suddenly hosting in my body but certainly not from too much Ben & Jerry's.

3) Your feet will go up a shoe size. Again, not for me. My shoes still fit the same as they did before.

4) You will become a moody bitch. Not in my case. If anything, I'm more mellow and sweet. I am very zen. I sort of developed a, "I don't give a sh&t" attitude, which I hope sticks long after the baby arrives. It's nice to not care about stuff that before, I would become very passionate over. It's nice to finally have a clear head to be able to pick my battles. I've been very nice to my husband, I'm not irritable, nothing. I've been in a great mood for months, even during my nausea.

5) Your nails will grow fast and beautiful. No, not for me. My nails grow normally. Nothing great here. (Oh well.)

6) Your hair will be amazing. I thought that was happening but it seems my gorgeous locks during the first trimester were more due to my switch in hair product over baby hormones. The minute I changed product, my hair wasn't so interesting. It's growing at a normal rate, it doesn't feel thicker or more mane-like, it's still the same hair.

7) You will have acne or a ton of zits. Nope, my skin is fine. Again, no change there.

8) You will have a crazy "nesting" instinct. Nope. I still love to rearrange my furniture and decorate but nothing out of the norm. I still hate to clean the bathroom.

9) Your back will kill you. Nope. My back is fine. I've had no back pain and this is coming from a girl who suffered from it for years.

10) You will have frequent headaches and/or migraines. I've had one headache, ONE, since I got pregnant. I used to have a headache a few times a week! Getting pregnant took AWAY my headaches. I think this is mostly due to not drinking coffee or alcohol - I think coffee and frequent glasses of sekt were causing those...

11) You will be super constipated. Nope. Plumbing is fine.

12) You will have very vivid dreams. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. I was hoping for those amazing sex dreams my friends told me about, but again, nada.

13) You will have very specific food cravings. Nope, I crave nothing. No pickles or ice cream or crackers. Nothing.

14) Smells, like the smell of coffee, will make you nauseous. Nothing bothers me that didn't bother me before I got pregnant.

15) You will be SUPER hungry all of the time. Nope. I eat three normal-sized meals a day and maybe a piece of fruit for a snack.

16) You will gain a ton of water weight. I haven't retained any water weight. It's been great!

17) Watch out for hemorrhoids! No - I'm all set, none of those either!

18) You will be exhausted during the first trimester. YES. Oh yes, this one was true for me. For the first 18 weeks I was VERY tired and napping constantly throughout the day. I was a total sloth. I remembering feeling REALLY ANNOYED that I had to take a shower each day. Now I'm back to normal.

19) You will have a TON of energy during the 2nd trimester. Again, nope. I have normal energy as I did pre-baby. I was sort of hoping to become an action figure superhero but, nope. I thought it was starting to spike for a minute a few weeks ago, but that was just due to eating too many ginger chews.

20) You may get varicose veins. Nope, veins are fine.

So my dear friends... If you are thinking of becoming pregnant but have heard all of the horror stories out there, please understand that you are unique and your pregnancy will be unique to, so just go with the flow and let nature do its thing. Even during the darkest hours of my vomit fits, I was still HAPPY. And let me tell you, feeling happy and being positive got me through those times.

I don't know what the next 13 weeks will bring for me and my baby boy. Maybe I'll blow up and gain 100 pounds and not be able to walk and I'll have hemorrhoids the size of two basketballs with a set of boobs to match. Perhaps this could all go the opposite direction and I'll be bitching at my husband every second and ordering Chinese take-out 3 times a day to satisfy my voracious cravings for Fried Rice. But so far, so good.

I'll keep ya posted.

xo
Holly

(photography: thorsten becker)