Thoughts On Being Interdependent

I want to talk about interdependence today because I think we could all use the reminder of just how much we truly need other people in order to survive and thrive. Some of us forget this. It's a great reminder to keep it real and to keep our hearts open to admitting we need assistance from time to time. This came to me recently when I decided to hire a housekeeper who will come, beginning in early August, to clean my house and iron our clothes on Friday. I also hired a delivery service to bring us bottled water, sparkling and spring, every two weeks so we don't have to run to the grocery store every few days for more bottles of water. It's all about admitting where we need help and then, simply, reaching out and asking for it.

In 2008, I was asked to participate in an art gallery exhibition that combined works on canvas with the written word and because writing is a form of art, I gladly took part. I was asked to write on a topic that I felt passionate about at the time and after a few conversations with my husband who acts as such a great friend and sounding board to me, I decided to write about what it means to be an, "Indie". But then, I gave a lot of thought to this term, indie, and realized that there is so much more to being independently employed (and to be successful at it) than meets the eye. To me, being independent means that you have accepted being interdependent and that you know your success has everything to do with how well you play with others, is really the key to how and why so many people go indie and then either fail or make it. If you are well liked and people care about you because you care about them, you can go very, very far as a freelance creative professional.

Here is what I wrote about interdependency and below I'll summarize how I feel today, three years after I first wrote them, especially when it comes to being "indie" myself but also as an expat living and working in Germany. These words below (in blue) were printed and displayed alongside of paintings in a gallery space.

My Declaration of Interdependence by Holly Becker

“No man is an island”. Whether this quote calls to mind author, John Donne, in his work Meditation XVII written in 1624 or the 2002 film, About A Boy, in which Hugh Grant perfectly plays a single, shallow thirtysomething with a disposable income but no real life, the point is clear: We can not thrive when isolated – we need each other.

The Indie movement has made great strides and continues to thrive because though “Indie” may mean breaking off from ‘the man’ it does not encourage complete independence, its success is based on the principals of interdependence. Interdependence is about making allies, building bridges, forming solid partnerships. In big business you can step on a few faces to climb your way to the top. In the indie world, and I’m speaking of the one in which I’m a part of mingling with creatives and artists, stepping on others is the fastest way to find yourself at the bottom. Going “indie” also means that we’ll find ourselves handing over power to others, trusting and sharing, and that’s perfectly okay because our goal for personal and creative freedom can still be met. A desirable goal for creatives and artists, the indie lifestyle, is also becoming a necessity as corporations continue to outsource, downsize, and close their doors.

This is exactly why I left a lucrative profession in the corporate environment in 2005, I wanted to pursue my talents and use more of my creativity to help others. Working from home nearly full-time as a writer allows me to do that successfully but there is a negative side to this lifestyle: too much independence can create a personal vacuum and hinder growth and development. I’m not as independent as I once thought going ‘indie’ would make me. I’m more dependent on others than ever before. I depend on my blog readers, contracts, and clients because I care about their success and I have a vested interest. Their success is my success, and I like it that way because it keeps us all responsible in my circle and that’s a good thing. I’ve come to learn that this daily interaction — being independent as a small business owner and being dependent as a creative professional — is interdependence.

My husband Thorsten Becker so nicely puts it, “We are becoming independent of the established conventions and restrictions placed upon us by conformist thinking and profit margins yet we need a strong support network to stay independent.” 

That is why I believe in interdependence within the creative community. 

The exchange of ideas (whether through a blog, at a gallery, etc.) can influence our thinking, open our minds, and help us to build such networks. Great things can be accomplished among independent but interconnected individuals and groups who work together towards common goals. Another excellent example of this is blogging and how rapidly it has grown in such a short period of time. At first, it required some effort in overcoming long established but outdated thinking patterns, certain preconceived notions as well as misconceptions about what on the web is worth reading and what is not, but the reward has been that bloggers are recognized as a large reason for the success we see in this new creative economy. Design and craft blogging started off very small with one person, then two, and currently blogs number into the thousands. What better way to illustrate interdependence and its power to transform than online.

Another powerful illustration of interdependence is alive around you in this very art space. Many independent artists are here presenting their work and their interpretations of the theme “This I Believe” through art and text. We all want to believe, though we may not always know what the future brings as we cannot foretell the definite outcome before we reach it, but the more we believe in each other and ourselves the greater the end results will be. 

There is also the journey to consider because I believe that the journey alone is often more rewarding than the destination as new dependencies are often established and existing ones strengthened while at the same time the spirit of independence is fostered. Seeing it all in motion and experiencing it first hand as a blogger and freelance writer, I believe in interdependence even more but also believe that in order to see change we must be a part of that change and work alongside those who support it. No man is an island."

- Holly Becker

Have you given much thought to what being "indie" really means? And for those of you who shrug and say, "I am a very independent person, I don't need anyone to care for me," well have you thought that perhaps you need to readjust your thinking because no matter what you think - the reality is that you do need other people -- it's a part of being human. There is nothing wrong with needing help, friendship, guidance, support... I have found as an American expat living in Germany for nearly two years now that I need others in order to thrive in my local community more than ever. I also need those online in my communities to depend on as well. Even the crafter who makes clothing from her home in nowhereville, USA needs others -- she needs the big factory in China making the buttons she uses, supplied by her local craft store, so she can iron them onto her "eco-friendly" shirts and sell them on Etsy. And she needs bloggers and those online to spread the word about her products or else they're not going to sell until people start talking about them. It's a pretty simple recipe.

Some people think that bloggers cannot help them to promote their work and this is flawed thinking. My friend recently told me a story about a woman who makes things and though her work went viral online, she still says she owes none of her success to blogs. I'd like to know how many of her products she sold before she started her online shop and had blogs writing about her, then? Because if she was selling so well without blog coverage, why did she approach bloggers to talk about her work? People who want their work to be seen needs blogs just as much as they need any other form of press. In fact, once something is blogged a few times, the press often takes notice and writes a story about it.

The web is a great big open market and market research playground. If you are being written up frequently on blogs, you better believe people on the outside (editors, authors, store owners) will hear about you and contact you about your product. Of course, they'll act like they just "ran into" you without explaining how they found your stuff -- but you can bet that if you're not showing your products at fairs but you had a few bloggers (especially big well read blogs) write about your work, then they most likely found you via the internet.

Of course bloggers help them because these days, if your work isn't being blogged then it's obviously not catching the interest of your customers because most customers author blogs and are using sites like Facebook to talk about the things that interest them. On top of that, the big magazine all have editors who spend hours combing blogs to find new products and people to talk about. My blog, decor8, has editors from every major magazine and newspaper reading it on a weekly basis. Many editors write to me personally for suggestions for their stories. And while they'll never tell others that they do this, trust me, they do. And why shouldn't they? Editors and everyone else looking for stories go to where people are talking about things they like and the internet is just one big conversation that people in the know are wise to tap into.

We all need the other. We are all connected. I find that living in Germany I need other people more than ever before as I'm still learning a completely new way of life that still feels very "foreign" to me even after nearly two years of living here full-time. The more I admit that I need others, the more enjoyable my experiences become in my day-to-day life. The moment I try to pretend that I'm fine on my own and that I don't need this or that help, I start to go inward and things become really difficult for me. It's important to stay open and flexible and that is where admitting how much we need each other really helps.

What do you think about being independent vs. interdependent? How has it helped your business? Your expat life? 

(image: holly becker for haus maus)