Memories

I spent a good part of my day going through only two plastic bins in preparation for our move. Yes, I spent hours rummaging through only two bins - crazy! But they were quite memory-filled. In fact, I cried a few times. I found old letters from a boyfriend I had for many years that I once loved very much. I came across photos of me and random friends and family members. I found sheet music from my voice coach, songs I trained quite hard for in preparation for a performance at Boston University back in the day -- a performance I chickened out of and "quit" two weeks before opening night. Tragic, I know.

Active baby me with my pretty mommy.

I found lots of short stories, piles of diaries dated back to the early 1980s, sticker books, and lots of songs and poems and drawings. I sat on the floor in my living room, fingers touching years of memories and emotions, some things I'd long forgotten. Some things very good, other things quite sad and hard to read. I even came across from transcript from Northeastern University, my work from Suffolk University and old high school essays. Then the design school stuff from 04/05 and all my design boards - I had to throw them away since they are too large to take over to Germany with me (and where would I put them?) but it felt good to see them again and then to say goodbye. I found lots of notes from teachers commending my creativity and enthusiasm but discrediting my attention to the technical parts, how I wasn't one to abide by rules. I read lots of love letters from Thorsten, things he wrote to me while we were dating. I came across ticket stubs from our honeymoon in 2001, and the very first concert I'd ever attended without my parents, it was on Boston Common in the 1980s - The Jets. Do you remember The Jets? I barely do, I think they were a band made up of mostly teenagers and I think they were considered R&B music. I have no clue. I also had forgotten that Boston Common once had concerts.

Little me in the late 1970s. I was four, my mother made this dress and I was so proud of it.

All of the walks down memory lane, taken in a single afternoon! But you know, I'm mentally exhausted now. I don't know, it felt draining to see and touch and read all of that. It was hard to throw some of it away, but I kept what really matters to me that I will someday share with my children when I have them. I can't believe that in exactly one week, the international relocation company will back into our driveway with their professional packing crew and truck to prepare everything and then, in one day, cart it all away and then we'll see it sometime again in the middle of September. It's strange to think that my belongings will be sitting on a massive ship heading towards London, destination Hannover. I have soooo much to do before the movers arrive - but we had another huge moving sale this past weekend and so now we're down to very little left to get rid of. I'm donating a ton of books, clothing and appliances to charity tomorrow. Everything is going so smoothly, I can't believe it. They say when you really want something that, like Dominos, everything falls into place, one at a time... and it's really true. But before they fall, you sometimes have to tap them with your finger and today I did lots of tapping -- tapping into memories and feelings and I'm glad I did but also very glad that it's over. Time to move forward and upward!