{digital collage + the unables}
Today is a holiday in America, Presidents Day, so I took the day off because one thing I promised back in '05 before I resigned was that once I went freelance I'd take off all holidays because I'd be the boss. I think it's important as an 'independent' to set rules for yourself and not to break them no matter what. Be kind to yourself. Kindness is good for your work, it makes what you deliver stronger and better than if you delivered your work stressed out and tired. I perform better when I feel inspired, joyous, and when my work comes from a sincere place.
Sadly I see fellow bloggers who are just getting started as freelance writers, editors, designers, etc. and they bust their hump trying to win over others, impress others, prove themselves. As a result, they appear somewhat eager, desperate, and a bit hungry for attention, admiration, and popularity. They usually do not know how to take a step back from their work, admire it, think about alternatives, you know be in the moment and enjoy what they are actually contributing to the world. No vacations, very little time off, all for what? A race to where exactly?
I call such people (including myself) the unables. And I say this in kindness, not to judge anyone, because I was also once an unable type and still feel unable in many ways. Unable to step away from my work. Unable to allow myself a life complete with seeing a movie now and then, jogging on the beach, lunching with the girls. Unable to see that better work comes from a life lived very well. Not barely. Not half asleep. Not a complete mess. Not trying to prove anything because we know we are good. Period. I'm unable no more! I take holidays, I break in the afternoon, I am A B L E darn it. :)
Today I have a ton of work that I should be doing but instead I'm enjoying my day doing this and that, arranging things around the house, crafty stuff, photo stuff, just random bits that I normally do not pay attention to on a typical busy Monday like putting together this collage using photos from my New Hampshire home to show you what a good life looks like through my eyes, a joyous, rested, happy life with nothing to prove, holidays taken, and lots and lots of happiness.
(image by holly becker)
Sadly I see fellow bloggers who are just getting started as freelance writers, editors, designers, etc. and they bust their hump trying to win over others, impress others, prove themselves. As a result, they appear somewhat eager, desperate, and a bit hungry for attention, admiration, and popularity. They usually do not know how to take a step back from their work, admire it, think about alternatives, you know be in the moment and enjoy what they are actually contributing to the world. No vacations, very little time off, all for what? A race to where exactly?
I call such people (including myself) the unables. And I say this in kindness, not to judge anyone, because I was also once an unable type and still feel unable in many ways. Unable to step away from my work. Unable to allow myself a life complete with seeing a movie now and then, jogging on the beach, lunching with the girls. Unable to see that better work comes from a life lived very well. Not barely. Not half asleep. Not a complete mess. Not trying to prove anything because we know we are good. Period. I'm unable no more! I take holidays, I break in the afternoon, I am A B L E darn it. :)
Today I have a ton of work that I should be doing but instead I'm enjoying my day doing this and that, arranging things around the house, crafty stuff, photo stuff, just random bits that I normally do not pay attention to on a typical busy Monday like putting together this collage using photos from my New Hampshire home to show you what a good life looks like through my eyes, a joyous, rested, happy life with nothing to prove, holidays taken, and lots and lots of happiness.
(image by holly becker)
Comments
just the words i needed to hear.
i *love* that digital collage! the colours are so summery and bright.
xo
Melis
They too can understand and appreciate "making" or "doing" in their own life which provides an escape or outlet from full-time work they may not care about. If they become good at it and others truly latch on to their work - they might even be one of the few people like yourself who have been able to change careers and do something they truly love.
Your blogs and others like it provide something for these people to look forward to everyday and if someone has taken that inspiration and tried to channel it into their own creative venture or blog - could that really be a bad thing, that you have inspired them so that they might inspire others? Don't get me wrong - some blogs just aren't that great, but the one's that truly motivate, inspire, or simply create an appreciation for something (craft, artist, home decor, etc.) will stand the test of the creative community (or those appreciative of this movement) - the others will be weeded out or become burned out with the time/effort it takes to constantly come up with new energy to create and inspire. I feel your post - in some capacity - is the antithesis of the movement you are a part of and the purpose of this creative community you so frequently inspire. And the only way to discourage "unables" from continuing their work is to stop inspiring them - which I think this post somewhat does.
Perhaps you read my post a little too quickly or skipped over some parts?
beautiful blog, i love the collages!
I simply love your blog, especially your photography. Great post. I always look forward to reading your blog and tweets.
I, for one, am one of those newbies and definitely see myself as an "unable," the way you describe it. At times, I've felt like I'm throwing myself in too hard. But instead of feeling "desperate", I feel motivated, enthusiastic, and extremely excited (and hopefully don't come off the way you describe; rather, I hope I come off happy and proud of what I'm striving for and believing in something I didn't know I was capable of). I'm guessing that Sarah is saying it takes a bit of that to be able to get to a place one truly might want to be.
I do think, however, that this post is inspiring in the way that it does remind us to step back and just breathe. I need to be reminded of this constantly.
But I still am SO excited!
Thanks!!
-betsy
I read blog posts that often sting, for instance blogs about fitness or healthy eating, because I personally KNOW I need to make improvements in these areas. But in the end, that blogger is sharing based on their own experience and so it's good to just see it as that personal experience shining through offering some help and hope.
I think that many of us want to be told what feels comfortable to hear, we want everyone to constantly support us and encourage us but you know what, that's not ultimately that helpful. We also need reminders, constructive criticism, counsel, advice, even a good butt kicking from those whom we respect, admire, and love. I'm not a butt kicker but I do like to give reminders and those reminders are sprinkled throughout my blog.
I cannot blog on eggshells. I care about each and every person reading this blog. You all mean something to me and I wish that my words could make everyone feel amazing and happy all of the time but that's not how friendship should work. Sometimes I may state something that stings but it's not delivered to sting. I'm just calling a behavior or trend as I see it.
I care about how women in particular, show themselves in a business sense. So many of us sell our work short, try way to hard to gain acceptance, it's part of being female but also part of how society has treated woman for many many years - as emotional, inferior, etc. A woman who has blog ads is told she is "selling out" but a man who has blog ads "has a good business sense".
Gosh I could write here in this space forever, I really value and appreciate your comments and I'm really glad you've shared your thoughts with me here today.
Remember though: Friends aren't just meant to be full time cheerleaders, they are big sisters sometimes too who look out for you. :)
I've been self-employed for the last three years and constantly struggling with the guilt of working too much or working too little. I love that you write "to show you what a good life looks like through my eyes". I think that may be the goal that has been alluding me.
Again, thank you for the lovely words and images I've taken so much from them.
Afterall, sometimes it's that sting that pushes us even farther.
One other inspired thing I want to share: was drinking yogi tea yesterday and they always have those phrases on the tags, it makes me think it's my fortune for the day. These two stuck with me:
1) by honoring your words, you are honored
2) realize, you are the truth.
Seriously, you've motivated me to breathe deeper today--quite literally. It's amazing how in that deep breath, if even just one and fleeting, I feel lighter and stronger.
Thanks, again.
-betsy
THANK YOU!
I don't work so maybe I shouldn't complain... but I would love to have a holiday to do nothing, or do things I like: go to a museum, shop, paint and those things. When I'm done with breastfeeding I'll definitly take some holiday :) if necessary I'll create my own holiday.
i'd left a post before this discussion occurred, and have made my way back to the discussion via Julia (RedOtter)'s blog post mentioning the discussion.
as someone who's firmly rooted in the tenets of the slow movement and what i like to call 'enoughism', i completely agree with you, Holly. while i understand where Sarah is coming from in expressing some frustration in all of the work that it takes to build up a successful blog readership, i also strongly believe in the importance to take a step back and rejuvenate yourself.
i’d like to add to your comments pertaining to women in the business world in particular, if you don’t mind. there's more than enough hype out there that encourages such a more-more-more mentality. 'competition' with other frequently updated blogs (and then there's twitter!) can often make people feel like they can't step away from their computer for fear of missing a beat.
the way i see it, this type of superhuman dedication isn't terribly conducive to creativity, particularly for women. as you’d mentioned, we already face societal pressures to be and act 150% all of the time, so i think that encouraging people to take a few precious moments to stop and enjoy the sunshine, smell the roses, or eat a sandwich is an excellent way to stimulate quality in blog posts, rather than quantity.
after all, i think it's more about the level of connection that readers feel that will keep them coming back for more; not the number of posts per week.
i suppose it's all about discipline and knowing when to pull back as you mentioned. to take a break while feeling confident that your friends will still be around.
thanks!
ps saw this post mentioned on the red otter blog (julia).
AMEN.
Your post was SPOT ON.
I absolutely 100% know what you mean. I think what you said came out wayyy better than how I *tried* to say it. :) Would you like to write haus maus? :) I have a new opening, just came up in fact.
You said, "the way i see it, this type of superhuman dedication isn't terribly conducive to creativity, particularly for women. as you’d mentioned, we already face societal pressures to be and act 150% all of the time, so i think that encouraging people to take a few precious moments to stop and enjoy the sunshine, smell the roses, or eat a sandwich is an excellent way to stimulate quality in blog posts, rather than quantity."
YES! Exactly.
I am an "unable", and I have been since I was a little girl. I don't relate this trait in any way to blogging (or, more specifically, to my blog -- if anything, my blog is the one thing in my life that I don't feel like I need approval for!), but it's part of who I am.
I never stop. I am never really happy. I am always tired. I am never in the moment. I never have a feeling of true accomplishment. And I just keep going. 4 hours commuting every day, 50 hours in the office every week, hours upon hours upon hours of working on the house, and less than 30 hours of sleep per week. No time for traveling, ever. I haven't taken a vacation since 2002.
And for what? I don't know, honestly. I'm just like this. I was like this when I was 5 years old.
Therefor we can't say no, we price our work too low, and we spend way too many hours in front of the computer looking for the new thing... I used to be guilty of all of the above, and still am in many instances.
I want to encourage everyone to follow Holly's lead and slow down, reward yourself for all the things you have accomplished. Set reasonable goals and smell those roses. After all, most of us are special in so many ways weather we write, create, invent, teach, make, compose, serve, or care for others!
I do love your blog and have awarded you the kreativ blogger award, check out my blog and see, it's pink and pretty... the award that is ;)
dallas
http://dillydallas.blogspot.com
Cheers/Michelle
www.PaperMichelle.com/blog